Funny Greeting Cards - Classic Quotes With Funny Photos
Check out are these very funny quote cards - great quotes with hilarious pictures - perfect for birthday, or any occasion - from Borealis Press and QuoteArts.com. Great combinations of funny quotations and entertaining pictures. We dare you to try not to laugh.
"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." $2.95 | "Act Normal. That's already crazy enough." $2.95 |
"If cats could talk, they wouldn't." ~ Nan Porter $2.95 | "There are times not to flirt: When you're sick. When you're with children. When you're on the witness stand." $2.50 |
"Never have children, only grandchildren." $2.50 | "It is not true that life is one damn thing after another. It is one damn thing over and over." $2.50 |
"The longer she dates me, the better she looks." $2.50 | "What better success than to live well, laugh lots, and love much?" $2.50 |
"Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation leans on the doorbell." $2.95 | "My goal is to do something outrageous every day." ~ Maggie Kuhn $2.95 |
"There used to be a real me, but I had it surgically removed." ~ Peter Sellers $2.50 | "We'd all like to vote for the best man, but she's never a candidate." ~ Frank McKinney Hubbard $2.50 |
"The older I get, The faster I was." ~ Charles Barkley $2.50 | "They tell me you'll lose your mind when you get older. What they don't say is that you won't miss it very much." ~ Malcolm Cowley $2.50 |
"All men are intrinsical rascals, and I am only sorry that not being a dog I can't bite them." ~ Lord Byron $2.50 | "To exercise is human. Not to is divine." ~ Robert Orben $2.50 |
"One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well." ~ Virginia Woolf $2.50 | "I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." ~ Douglas Adams $2.95 |
"Love is two minds without a single thought." ~ Philip Barry $2.50 | "Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself." ~ Rita Mae Brown $2.50 |
"Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth." ~ Peter Ustinov $2.50 | "If I had my life to live again, I would make the same mistakes, only sooner." ~ Tallulah Bankhead $2.95 |
"It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing." ~ Duke Ellington $2.50 | "Don't tell my mother I'm in politics. She thinks I'm playing piano in a brothel." ~ Anonymous $2.50 |
"I am extraordinarily patient, as long as I get my own way in the end." ~ Margaret Thatcher $2.50 | "Every Plan A needs a Plan B." $2.95 |
"There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody." ~ Adlai Stevenson $2.50 | "Education is a wonderful thing. If you couldn't sign your name you'd have to pay cash." ~ Rita Mae Brown $2.50 |
"Do it tomorrow. We've already made enough mistakes today." ~ Dawn Powell $2.50 | "Be yourself, everybody else is already taken." ~ Oscar Wilde $2.95 |
"The best thing about needing help is that it's a good way to meet people." ~ Ashleigh Brilliant $2.95 | "I think of you. You and roast beef, medium rare." $2.50 |
"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy." ~ Spike Milligan $2.50 | "Maturity is a phase. Adolescence is forever." $2.50 |
"Women don't retire, they just keep on cooking." $2.95 | "Summer afternoon...the two most beautiful woeds in the English language." ~ Henry James $2.50 |
"There's a dance in the old dames yet." ~ Don Marquis $2.95 | "The human race has only one really effective weapon, and that is laughter." ~ Mark Twain $2.95 |
"Life is one fool thing after another, whereas love is two fool things after each other." ~ Oscar Wilde $2.95 | "Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order." ~ Samuel Beckett $2.95 |
"Some friends please, some friends squeeze, some give the heart a tug..." $2.50 | "I thought I'd wake up famous, but I only woke up late. $2.95 |
"If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" ~ Abraham Lincoln $2.95 | "If evolution really works, how come mother have only two hands?" ~ Milton Berle $2.95 |
"Sometimes I feel protected, and I don't know why." $2.95 | "Too much of a good thing can be wonderful." ~Mae West $2.95 |
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